The next time I’m born, I’m going to choose to be male

Written By: JoJoisms - Aug• 23•14

Warning! Female Rant Ahead!  We interrupt our normal weekly blog schedule to bring you this female rant.

After that painful breaking in period when you’re 12 (or 16+ in my case) when you long for something to happen every month, you begin to wonder why you ever wanted it in the first place.

It tickles me what they call that monthly event, too.  A visit from your friend.   If you have a friend who comes over five days out of every month and makes you feel pain, discomfort and ill, don’t open the door!  That’s not a friend; that’s an enemy!

Aside from that Baby Delivery Training five days every month, as we get older, we have to deal with peri menopause–and earlier and earlier these days!  This is the time of your life after you finally have a handle on your monthly friend.  You’ve finally figured out a system.  You carry with you *special equipment* in your purse after calculating just when you might be entertaining your FRIEND–just in case.  And when you just about have everything figured out…BOOM…everything changes.

Your friend decides to visit more often than once a month.  Isn’t it sweet?  She misses you.  Sometimes she visits three times a month! Or she just plum MOVES IN WITH YOU!  Occassionally, she goes on vacation for a few months, but always comes back for an extended stay because–you’re just that lucky!  Now you carry your *special equipment* around with you 24/7 and all year round.  HINT (for you younger gals): buy a bigger purse!

When you are female, and especially when you complain of FEMALE ISSUES, drs ignore you or dismiss you–even if they, themselves, are of the female persuasion.  My female dr investigated every small complaint my dh had with ferver, even when he admitted it was probably just him being a bit of a hypochondriac.  When I was 37 (after I had my son), I complained of hot flashes and other peri menopause issues. I was told it was ridiculous because I was too young.  Even after she admitted experiences are often hereditary and I told her my grandmother was done (FINITO!) at 47 AND admitting it’s usually a ten year process, she said it was ludicrous and refused to test my hormones.  By the way, Dr Female, it’s been 15yrs of suffering with peri menopause so you were wrong about that too!

I’ve been having some digestive issues of late.  I told my dr about them and he said they were probably due to peri menopause.  Really?!  Then this morning I read an article called 9 Signs of Hormonal Imbalance and How to Fix Them.  Guess what was number nine?  Yup!  Digestive Issues!  My dr prescribed a bioidentical hormone cream that I pick up on Monday.  Looking forward to having all nine of those issues go away.  Looking forward also to having my monthly friend go away soon too.  I’ll be 52 next month and what I’d like for my birthday is to give my monthly friend her walking papers.  LOL

All joking aside, it’s been a very long peri menopausal journey for me.  And though I am thankful to God for allowing me two incredible children, I’m not enjoying being a girl right now.

Rant Over: I now return you to your regularly scheduled hormones…

Please feel free to post a rant of your own. Your hormones will probably feel better. 😀

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  1. H Rosebrook says:

    I like your writing very so much!

  2. JoJoisms says:

    Thank you.

  3. kj says:

    Come on, cut it out!

  4. kayleigh says:

    Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusing.

  5. jersey says:

    Great post here!

  6. JoJoisms says:


  7. FI says:

    I’ve been through this !

  8. Brigitte Sands says:

    Ha Ha Love it! God bless you!

  9. JoJoisms says:

    Thank you, Brigitte!

  10. Jamee Hanger says:

    wow, awesome blog.Much thanks again. Really Great.