JoJoisms

Some New JoJoisms

Written By: JoJoisms - Mar• 06•19

Here are some of my newest JoJoisms:



Creativity, Age, and Silver Linings…Oh, My!

Written By: JoJoisms - Feb• 04•19

I’ve been busy creating memes for my clients and my social media platforms, but I did create a few new JoJoisms this past month.  Here they are in no particular order.

I created these three slightly differently. Which one is your favorite?

A Facebook friend of mine asked everyone to post how old they were.  I, of course, was a bit creative with my answer and it sparked this JoJoism:

It occurred to me that there is always a silver lining. After my parathyroid surgery, the doctor actually told me to eat more ice cream.  I can’t say this has been a difficult pill to swallow…

And that’s about all the new JoJoisms this month.  I’ll be back next month with either funny story about my life or more JoJoisms because of funny stories about my life.  Either way, as Arnold says, I’ll be back!

What’s in YOUR Bra? A TSA Tale

Written By: JoJoisms - Jan• 02•19

Apparently, a 56-year-old, 5′ nuthin’ woman with Fibro and Essential Tremors is a threat to national security! But don’t worry…TSA THOROUGHLY investigated me. Don’t you all feel safer now?!

Out of hundreds of would-be passengers in the San Fransisco TSA line, they singled ME out. After having taken my shoes and sweater off, put my purse in a bin and my iPad in a separate bin (cuz iPads apparently don’t work and play well with others!), AND going through the auto scanner thingie (on which, the 6′ 7″ tall agent didn’t have the capacity to understand why both of my feet couldn’t reach the outer edges of the foot stickers), I was directed to the second tier TSA agent with the attitude of Atilla the Hun and no desire to explain herself.

“What’s in your bra?” she asked. At this point, I’m both reflecting on the Capital One commercials and wondering what on earth women carry in THEIR bras these days! I said, “Just ME!”

She continued, “I need to know WHAT is in your bra.” I told her I didn’t understand the question. There’s only me in here.  “What’s in your bra?” Then, I had an epiphany. Thinking the scanner picked up the underwire in my bra, I asked if that was what she was referring to.  Unfortunately, Attila the Fun wasn’t in an explaining mood and continued asking… “What’s in your bra?!” Finally, I said, “There isn’t anything in my bra but ME!” I didn’t stuff a quiche in there! Good Lord what do women put in there?!

Then she asked if I want to be patted down in a private place where no one can see. Well, just as long as you keep the rest of my clothes on, I’m fine! So, she proceeded to “pat” me down everywhere but the bottoms of my feet. Little did she know I had a fuzzy on the inside of my sock that I managed to smuggle onto the plane!

And, by the way, they really should rename that procedure. It’s NOT a pat. They PUSH you as they feel for that quiche! And each “pat” gets harder until you eventually almost fall over, which is the signal of a job well done to their coworkers!

Just in case you think you’re done…they send you to the NEXT TSA Tier Level. That’s where they “swab your hands for explosives.” I wear children’s size gloves. My hands can’t hide explosives! They must have meant explosive residue.

* SIDE NOTE: I’m apparently mildly allergic to whatever that stuff is. My hands turned red and started tingling almost like a light stinging feeling. But they can’t tell me what it is or they’d have to kill me so I guess I’ll never know.

At this point, I’m wondering what kind of an idiot bomber would go through a TSA line KNOWING she had explosives in her bra and didn’t wash her hands?! But I digress.

After all of that, I was then free to try to find my belongings which had already been sitting there for five minutes with a “Take Me; I’m Yours” sign on them! I put my shoes back on and grabbed my iPad, sweater, and purse only to find my son and husband still hadn’t finished getting dressed. They had to take EVERYTHING out of their pockets and were holding their pants up with one hand while holding their stuff in the other and trying to put their belts back on.  During that time another TSA agent, whose job it was to stand watch over the empty bins bunching up as they fall off the conveyer belt and scream, “PUT YOUR BINS BACK!,” looked on disapprovingly.

My only revenge is that my killer fuzzy had been successfully deployed.  Somewhere someone has it attached to the bottom of their shoe and I’m currently picking up surveillance footage!

Seeing the Humor in Struggles

Written By: JoJoisms - Dec• 03•18

2018 wasn’t the year I thought it would be.  I thought my husband would have a permanent job by now. I thought I had handled my insomnia, my Fibro, was done with surgeries, and wouldn’t have anything new until I was old.  Well, oldER. But I was wrong.

Have you ever had so many weirdly not fun things happen at once that all you could do was laugh? Well, I did this year and I found it does help to just laugh so I created the following memes that not only helped me, but I pray will help you too to see the humor in just about anything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JoJo’s Grape Puns

Written By: JoJoisms - Nov• 07•18

My purple pen has turned to things punny as I have redesigned my entire Grape Stuff website.  So this month I thought I’d bring to you the “grape” puns that now appear as sections of my website because there are some GRAPE things over there now…Pun intended.  Here we go!

So the main page is, of course, called Grape Stuff.

The blog is called Grape Times.

The testimonials page is called…Grape Job!

Our contact page is called…Grape Vine.

Our email list is called…Grape News!

The About Us page that shares how the site began is aptly called…Grape Seeds!

The Frequently Asked Questions page is called…Grape Ideas.

And our new YouTube channel is….

Drumroll Please…

The Grape News Network hosted by news anchor Connie Plumb!

That’s all the pun that’s fit to print.  I’ll bring you more of my writing as I write it.  Until then…

Have a GRAPE Day!

 

 

At the age when doctors ask odd questions

Written By: JoJoisms - Oct• 03•18

I can’t believe it’s October 2018 already! Wasn’t it just June…1997? You know you’re getting older when the decades fly by.  But seriously, life has changed a whole bunch since I began this blog and since I began writing JoJoisms so many years ago.

Now that I’m in my mid..ok, later, 50s, I find my attention turning to things of a more eternal nature.  In talking with a friend about chronic illness and the physical results of living past your mid-20s, we found ourselves laughing about the things doctors ask you.

Are you depressed?

Do you find yourself thinking about death?

Do you feel you’d be better off if you died?

That last one had us pondering a bit.  As a Christian, why, yes.  Yes, we DO believe we’d be better off if we died.  It’s a no-brainer.  Would I prefer to meet the struggles of everyday life in a fallen world where we need to feel the aches and pains of getting older, the fatigue, the stress of making a living, the struggle that comes from strife and misery in the world?  Or would we rather be with God, in heaven, in eternal peace?

Hmmm…

While I would much prefer to be with Jesus, I won’t be shortening my stay here on Earth to get there quicker.  LOL  But it did make me think about how you answer questions such as these when you get to the age when your doctor is required to ask.  😀

Writing JoJo-isms

Written By: JoJoisms - Sep• 03•18

My life has come full circle.  I began writing my JoJoisms about communication way back when.  Then, as my life changed, these sayings came to be about every topic under the sun…or at least under my life experience.  (Which is rather prolific!)

I wrote JoJoisms about marriage, parenting, finances, health issues, empty nesting, getting older, and technology.  And now I find myself writing about writing.

Yes, this JoJo is now writing for hire over at Unique Copywriter!  I have a Facebook fan page as well and I’ve been creating my JoJoisms memes for it as well.  Here are just a few:

 

 

 

 

I’ll be back next month with some more JoJoisms!

New JoJoisms Coming Soon!

Written By: JoJoisms - Aug• 03•18

I’ve been busy writing some Purple JoJoisms for my For the Love of Purple Facebook fan page, but I haven’t had time to post them here. Most of them aren’t in my usual JoJoisms format, but here are a few.

I’ll be back at some point to post some new ones I’ve created.  In the meantime, if you’re a purple lover, go like my For the Love of Purple page and join the over 6500 fans there!

JoJoisms fans can now get free fun and MORE!

Written By: JoJoisms - Jun• 07•18

As many of you already know, JoJoisms.com is a member of the Grape Stuff Network of Family Sites. And as a member, we are contributing to the Grape Value News weekly email list!

What does that mean for you?  It means you can get free fun, humor and JoJoisms insights as well as communication tips each week along with the WEEKLY free gifts and special discounts on various items your family needs!  It also means you’ll get all the brand new JoJoisms right to your inbox!

Grape Stuff each and every week for your family!

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It’s official! The Big Book of JoJoisms has a registered copyright!

Written By: JoJoisms - Apr• 23•18

I’ve been writing since I was about 9 years old.  I’m now a post menopausal writer who has to color her gray more often so that’s a LOT OF YEARS!

I had never thought about getting a copyright until I began putting my JoJoisms on the mugs we are now selling under the MugXpressions by Grape Stuff brand.

When I filed for a copyright for The Big Book of JoJoisms several months ago, I thought the whole thing was done online. Then this past Saturday, I received an official certificate in the mail stating that I’m the proud owner of all of my JoJoisms to that date that I had compiled in this book!

So, it’s official!  I hold an official copyright for almost 600 JoJoisms that I’ve written over the years!  It’s got an official seal and everything!

As many of you know, JoJo is nuts for purple so most of my Visual JoJoisms have been purple.  I’ve loved purple even longer than I’ve been writing.

My mom tells me I actually turned purple when I was about two weeks old and they were driving me from Colorado, where I was born, to Florida where my dad was next stationed.  He was in the military at that time.  They had to pull over to cool me down as there was no air conditioning in cars at that time.  THAT’s how old I am!  lol  Ever since then, my mom says I’ve loved purple!

How ever my love of purple came about, I’m not the only one who’s nuts for it!  At the same time my JoJoisms were being copyrighted, my For the Love of Purple Facebook fan page was also growing.

From the time I filed the copyright to the time I received this official notification, my page grew by 2000 members and it’s now growing by 2-300 per week!  I’ve actually written several JoJoisms about my love of purple and have written several more since then and turned them into visual format and posted them on my fan page.  Click the link above if you have a purple heart and would like to see more purple JoJoisms!

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