As many of my readers know, the past 18 months have been very difficult for my family and me.  We’ve dealt with catastrophic hardships like a car accident in which we flipped over; natural disasters such as the lightning strike, a flash flood, and a small house fire; health issues like gallbladder surgery which is aside from my chronic illnesses; a job loss resulting in no steady income for three months; and the stress that results such as running three businesses while planning your dd’s wedding and finding a new home after our lease is up.

The stress built up to a level that was almost unbearable. However, working through it has taught me some things for which I am grateful.  I’ll share more about that another time, but one insight led me to write this blog post and I pray it helps my readers who may be struggling with even more than I have had to contend with.

I’ll Trust You, Lord!

Though I don’t feel you near…I’ll trust you, Lord.

Though I don’t see how I get out of this…I’ll trust you, Lord.

Though I still cry…I’ll trust you, Lord.

Though I can’t feel joy…I’ll trust you, Lord.

And though I don’t know when it will end…I’ll trust you, Lord!

How?  How could I trust that which I don’t know, can’t see, can’t feel and see no end to?  Because I trust my Father in heaven.  Why?  Because through all of the trials and struggles, hardships, frustrations and pain, I am beginning to understand more of who God is and because we have a history together in which He has performed incredible feats!

As a Christian, I know that there is nothing that happens to me that God does not allow. The Bible tells me this and that He loves me so much that He sent His son to die for me.  Since He loves me beyond what I can comprehend, there must be a higher purpose.  I knew that, but I didn’t truly understand it until…

I’ve been listening to a lot of Charles Stanley videos on hardship, grief and struggle. Gaining insight. Here’s the one I watched this morning which prompted me to write this post:  http://www.intouch.org/watch/life-principles-to-live-by/adversity-burden-or-bridge-video2   (I’m afraid this non techie, HTML Illiterate can’t find a way to embed this video, but do click on it if you are feeling low. I promise it will be worth your time to watch it!)

As I watched, I had a revelation about Paul and why his struggle (thorn in his side) may not have been taken away from him. He was in very high standing, keeping the law and could have been proud of what he accomplished–even for God. Maybe that’s why he was not healed: to keep him humble and focused on God and the work He had for him.

God allows different trials for each of us according to what we need and to accomplish our own purpose in God. As many of my struggles have lasted a VERY long time, I began to think as if none of them would ever be taken away from me.  But I realized that not all people will be left with their affliction for their entire lifetime. Maybe I won’t either. And, even if I will have to deal with some or all of them for the rest of my life, He has a higher purpose to strengthen and prepare me for my ministry. Maybe that is to be encouragement for others with whose affliction I am well familiar.

Knowing that changed my outlook and I started to see the light in the midst of my darkness.  If that is my mission, I am ready to accept the consequences to serve others and God.