Believe it or not, the reason I ask is that I have two! The longer I live, the more I realize just how complicated life has become to the point where we are regularly asked questions I never in my wildest dreams would consider having to answer when I was young…you know, last century.
The most recent bizarre question I was asked was by a TSA agent in San Francisco. It erupted into an entire story of its own which I have recounted for you in all its hilarity here.
As odd as “What’s in your bra?” was, there is another even more bewildering question I was asked way back when my husband and I were merely dating, about 35 years ago, and here is that story.
My (then) boyfriend, his sister, and I decided to take a day trip from Southern California to Baja Mexico. Coming back across the border, we got stopped by Border Patrol. They asked to see our “papers” so Rich gave his green card, his sister handed him her California birth certificate, and I handed him my Colorado birth certificate.
Rich and his sister were asked some questions in English. They answered and then, turning to me, he switched to Spanish. After taking 2.5 years of high school Spanish, my understanding was minimal and all I could say was, “Donde esta’ el bano?” which does come in handy, but wasn’t helpful at the time.
I tried to tell him that I didn’t understand so he asked in English, “Where are your loyalties?” Where are my LOYALTIES?! What was that supposed to mean? I guess the look on my face resembled a cross between clueless and suspect because he began asking me in a decidedly more authoritative tone of voice. My husband muttered under his breath, “Say United States! Say United States!!”
“United States,” I said in vague bewilderment, at which point, I began to be questioned about my Colorado birth certificate. They were convinced it was forged. I’m the only person in the car NOT of Hispanic heritage and I’M the one they suspect?!
You see, back in the olden days…last century…Colorado birth certificates were black with white lettering. And the white lettering wasn’t the crisp clean lines you see today. I guess technology wasn’t that good back when I was born. It was all I could do to convince them that it was, indeed, my real birth certificate and I wasn’t feigning ignorance, I really WASN’T fluent in Spanish and my birth certificate, though odd by modern standards, was not doctored.
Where are your loyalties? I’m partial to purple myself!
