Sometimes You Need a Pity Party

Written By: JoJoisms - Feb• 28•17

This month’s blast from the past: Sometimes You Need a Pity Party: 

I don’t think you’d be human if you were sunshine and roses every day, especially in the face of chronic struggles and hardships.  However, some will tell you you’re not a good Christian if you share that you are depressed or upset or frustrated.  It’s not like the Lord doesn’t know you feel this way. It hasn’t escaped His notice.  It’s not a sin to be angry or sad or frustrated with your situation.  It’s only destructive if you stay there.  It can actually be quite therapeutic to throw yourself a little pity party now and again.

I think the only people who don’t ever go down deep in the valley of despair are those who don’t have any problems. Know any people without any problems?  Me neither!

So when you are exhausted just after getting up in the morning, you go looking for your sandwich in the closet, your electric bill is past due and you have only two nickels to rub together…AGAIN, you will enter that valley.  What you do there and how long you stay will determine your quality of life and the joy you find in spite of it all.

The value of a pity party:

Allow yourself time to grieve and/or express your negative emotions so you can move on.  Without a pity party, some find it difficult to gather the strength to move on to life’s next chronic hurdle because they haven’t dealt with the previous one.  Making time to express your anger, sadness or frustration can help you get rid of those feelings.

What to do at your pity party:

Invite people to your pity party.  You don’t have to send out formal invitations or anything, but fellowship with one or two trusted, Christian friends or family members who understand what it feels like to deal with the issues you are struggling with.  They will not only understand and allow you to vent, but lead you back out of the valley of despair and back to the Lord.  They can help by validating your feelings so you aren’t concentrating your energy on justifying why you feel the way you do.  You have a right to your feelings.  You don’t have to marry them, but you have a right to them as you come by them honestly.

Play Woe is Me.  Express how you feel and allow that trusted friend or family member to see the real you–even if it isn’t pretty right now.  It’s your party and you’ll cry if you want to so…cry if you want to!  You’ll feel better afterward.

Allow friends or family to lift you up.  I know.  It’s frustrating to make one single statement and have well-meaning Christians immediately jump all over you about not being positive and tell you just to cheer up.  But once you’ve had a good cry (or scream as the case may be), you need to be lifted up out of the valley or you’ll be tempted to stay there.  And trust me, pity parties are a nice place to visit, but you don’t want to live there!  Your friends want to help.  Let them.

What to do after your pity party:

Have some FUN!  Here are a few ideas.  Go for a walk, see the beauty God put on this earth.  See the humor in your situation and poke fun at yourself. Lift someone else’s spirits.  Make someone laugh.  Concentrate on someone else’s problems for a while and try to help.  It’s amazing how focusing on others will draw you out of the pit you’ve fallen into.  Write about it.  Sing about it.  Hug your blessings…better known as your children.  Hug someone else’s children.  LOL

Pray.  Pray that God would take this from you and, if God doesn’t take the struggle away, pray that He would use it, your experience and you to lift someone else up.

Lastly, thank God.  Thank the good Lord for the good things in your life.  Count your blessings.  You have some!  Even in the lowest pit of despair, you have some blessings you can count.  If your dishwasher broke and you can’t afford to fix it, you can thank God your water bill is paid this month and you can afford dish liquid.  If you are so tired you can’t get up out of bed, thank Him for the bed you have.  If your pain level is high, thank Him for the life you have and the chance you have today to perhaps find your answers. Maybe you’ll discover something that helps you.  Maybe you’ll discover a $20 bill in the couch that will pay for a few groceries.  I know, I’ve looked there a time or two as well!

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.  We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed”—  2 Corinthians 4:7-9

I pray this has been helpful and uplifting. Please leave me some feedback in a comment.  Share your story.  Tell me what you’d like to see in the coming weeks as I share.  And please pass this post along to others who may need to start planning their own pity party. 

What do you think?

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.


  1. Lynn A. says:

    Mornin’ JoJo~~I guess I needed this this morning. Still stuck in the house. I was sick for so long with my doctor ignoring me for years, then I showed him the color pictures of my surgery. He just stared at it for a long time, with only one comment. “That’s alot of inflammation” Nothing about the blockage or the evident infection. Having stomach problems and can’t eat much. So , going back up there in your post, being here with all my friends and family, posting things and seeing smiling responses has so helped me. I have had some pity parties, but all by myself. People like you are having it so much worse, and I pray for you!!

  2. JoJoisms says:

    Thanks for sharing your story, Lynn. You are always welcome here to share your pity party. I’ll attend! 😀

  3. Dana says:

    Yes! I think that is one of my frustrations with Christians. Sometimes it seems like one single emotion is allowed. I know most of it is meant to be encouraging, but I have actually had my faith challenged over grieving the loss of my son. And the first time was a week after the funeral.

    Grieving the death or another large loss is a little different because it is going to take longer and that place changes you more deeply. But we all suffer smaller hurts along the way and the Bible calls us to carry one another’s burdens, not challenge their existence!

  4. Tanya says:

    That was a great article you wrote. Thanks for sharing. I like how you said to hug your blessings who are kids. It popped in my head to embrace our blessing and hug our blessings that God gives us…. those blessings don’t always have to be just kids; they can be any blessings God gives us….Hug Your Blessings

  5. Natalie says:

    Love it. I agree that sometimes it is ok to just have a few moments to just ‘feel’ and that is OK. Faithful friends are helpful to help you get back on track. We don’t always like to admit these days to feeling sad and not ‘strong’ and ‘perfect’. Great to get people talking about this!

  6. JoJoisms says:

    Thanks, Natalie!

  7. JoJoisms says:

    Exactly, Tanya. Whatever blessings God gives you.

  8. JoJoisms says:

    So true!

  9. Hailey says:

    I LOVE THIS. Sometimes we just need some time to be sorry for ourselves, and I love your validation that it is ok, and healthy even. We can be sad, and allow those around us to lift us up when we need it. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  10. JoJoisms says:

    You are welcome. Thank you for commenting!

  11. This is so true! Sometimes you just need to have that “pity party” so you can move on:) That is why we need to be surrounded by community to lift us up when we need it and move on! Thanks for sharing!

  12. JoJoisms says:

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Reeni.

  13. Mamaguru says:

    I love this! Whenever I truly own wallowing, I see the ridiculousness in it and I can laugh. When I try to pretend something isn’t wrong, it spills all over my life with a big fat mess. Time to party!!

  14. JoJoisms says:

    I am always amazed at how many people see things the way I do because so many have told me otherwise. Blessings to you Mamaguru!!