I often gain insight from reading my Bible in the mornings. I shared last time about one.  Well, this one was on the very same day:  “Like one who takes away a garment in cold weather, And like vinegar on soda, Is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” -Proverbs 25:20.  

I’ve read through the Bible many times, but never really pondered this scripture until then.  I went a bit further to read several commentaries on this scripture and began to see a picture of how many Christians, though well-meaning, will choose the absurdity of trying to cheer up someone who is deep in trial whose soul is weary.  These same people would never think to take away a cold man’s coat in cold weather.  Yet they do feel it appropriate to try to bring a smile to an aching heart.

If this is your first time reading my posts, you may have missed an article I wrote once that got quite a bit of attention, called Sometimes You Need a Pity Party. Ecclesiastes says there is a time for every purpose under heaven.  There is a time laugh and a time to cry.  I think people are very uncomfortable during those times when their friends or relatives need time to cry. They simply don’t know what to do and feel so uncomfortable that their first instinct is to try to cheer them up.  

Some Christians subscribe to the relatively new positive thinking that anything negative must be shunned, struck down, and eliminated.  The Power of Positive thinking is HUGE, but there is a time and a place for it.  And that time isn’t when an individual is deep in the sorrow and need to cry it out.  Or when someone first learns of a death or a major loss of any other kind.  

Take it from one who has been there many times.  There is a time and a place for everything.  There is a time for positive thinking.  There is a time for cheering someone up.  There is a time to lift someone up.  But…don’t sing songs to a heavy heart.  If you don’t know what to do for them, may I offer these ideas?

Pray with them. Sit with them. Cry with them. Ask how you may help.  And when their heart has had time to begin the healing process, then be a beacon of hope to lift them up.

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