Okay, so during my “Woe is Me” phase of dealing with the stress of my chronic issues (my husband’s job loss, my chronic illnesses and running a few businesses to try to bring an income into the household), I found my way out of my crying funk and was able to push forward a bit. I still do find myself crying, frustrated and overwhelmed at my chaotic and uncertain situation at times. However, listening to In Touch Ministries’ (Charles Stanley) videos online has really helped to clarify things, see things more as God sees them, and to begin to move on.
After feeling a bit better, I heard Tenth Avenue North’s song, By Your Side on Pandora. Part of the song lyrics say, “Please don’t fight these hands that are holding you.” Something clicked for me. That’s what I was doing. I was fighting what was happening. Instead of using the situation to profit me in some way, I was focusing on what I didn’t want and fighting it. When I began to get quiet and ask God what He wanted me to do from here, I heard more clearly things that gave me hope.
It suddenly occurred to me that, despite the fact that there are many limitations to my situation, there ARE some things I CAN do. Realizing these things has given me hope. I pray it does for you as well. Here goes…
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1. I can only do so much to find my dh a job, but I can be open to different ideas to making money.
2. I can’t stop my illness and pain, but I can choose to go on.
3. I can’t stop trials from knocking me down, but I can choose to get back up.
4. I can’t make God answer my prayer the way I want, but I can choose to ask him to strengthen me through it.
5. I can’t always smile, but I can choose to cry it out and allow myself to be uplifted by friends and fellow faithful Christians.
6. I can’t stop stress, but I can stop fighting God.
Dr. Charles Stanley once said (one of the videos I watched on the In Touch Ministries site) that just as a father might need to hold his son down to allow a doctor to heal him, God sometimes holds you to keep you from harm or to allow something good to happen.
Once I stopped fighting against the perceived bad things that have happened to me, I began to look around at what I could learn from them: what I could profit from having gone through them, what I could become as a result of having the strength to keep going, and what I could give to others from the experience. That made all the difference for me.
I know now that I can’t fight what has happened in my life, but I can choose to be open to new opportunities. I can choose to go on, to get back up, to allow God to strengthen me, to allow myself to be uplifted. I can choose to feel more empowered and that will lead to less anxiety.
