JoJoisms

God’s Incredible Timing

Written By: JoJoisms - Sep• 29•14

Big glasses

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

Sometimes when so many difficult things happen so close together, we fail to see the humor in the situation.  We fail to see the good in it and we fail to notice the blessings God gives us.  Just the other day I was thinking about how many times God’s perfect and incredible timing had saved us, blessed us and taught us how much He loves us.  Here’s just a brief look at a few of the examples of God’s incredible timing in my family’s life.

Several years ago, we lived in California and drove to ARIDzona to visit my folks a few times a year.  One time, we noticed the brakes had a slight squeak while we were desert bound.  My dh, my father and several of the men there all said it seemed minor and we could take the car in to the mechanic when we got home.  On the way back, we hit a lot of traffic that holiday weekend.  It was stop and go all the way.  The squeak turned into a grinding noise which began to sound a bit more like a horror movie sound effect.  All the way back we were increasingly afraid the brakes would give out.  It was very late and there was no place to stop off.  Miraculously, the car was drivable all the way home.  It was only when we were in our driveway that we realized how bad it was.  It was only then that the brakes finally gave out and we coasted into the garage. God’s perfect timing kept us from being stranded and/or being involved in an accident.

In 1999, I had my second child, Christopher Ryan.  By then, I was an older mom and it had been 9.5yrs since I had my first baby so the dr said my body wouldn’t remember what to do.  He figured the labor would be long, probably even longer than my labor with my dd which was 9.5 hrs.  But God had other plans.  Christopher’s birth actually involved several miracles and if everything hadn’t happened just the way it did, he wouldn’t be with us or he would have been a very sickly child.

Chris decided to make his presence known while I was home alone.  My dh was at work, my dd was at school and my folks (who were visiting me day and night for days) went on a short trip to visit my sister that day.  I went into labor thinking I’d have all kinds of time to get to the hospital.  Child birth classes teach you not to go in too early or you’ll be poked and prodded and it could lead to too much medical intervention.  But I was feeling pretty weird so I called my doula.  She rushed right over and had me call everyone back to base.  We figured it was a bit early, but we were pretty far from the hospital and there was sure to be traffic.  So off we went. In the car, the contractions suddenly jumped together and, by the time we were near the hospital, they were on top of each other.  I was admitted and, just after I got into my hospital gown, I felt I needed to push.  There was no dr available in the entire hospital so the nurses were scrambling.  The next contraction brought half of my baby boy out into the world.  Then the contractions inexplicably stopped…with just enough time for the nurses to get all of baby’s first poop out of his nose, mouth and airway before he was born all the way and took his first breath.  Three hours and fifteen minutes after labor started, he was born healthy and free of bacteria that could have killed him or kept him sickly all his life.  God’s perfect timing saved my son from sickness and perhaps even death.

Years later we got a smokin’ deal on a used car still under warranty.  Just prior to the expiration, we noticed it had a problem.  We took it in, but they couldn’t duplicate it.  After the warranty ran out, it developed a HUGE and EXPENSIVE problem.  We were originally told it was no longer under warranty so we would have to pay for the entire cost, $2500.  At the time we were living paycheck to paycheck and didn’t have even a few hundred dollars to pay for a car repair.  We immediately went before the Lord in prayer, but we didn’t expect the answer to be quite so favorable.  The dealership agreed that we did express the problem before the warranty ran out so they would give us a deep discount to repair the problem.  We reluctantly agreed knowing it would be a severe financial hardship.  When the dealer called to say our car was ready, they informed us that the entire repair bill was being covered under warranty.  God’s perfect timing saved us from financial crisis.

In January of this year, my dh got a huge promotion at work that required us to move cross country.  We flew out to Indiana to find our new home. The day we were to fly back to ARIDzona to prepare for our move, my dh’s uncle picked us up to take us to his home to visit before the plane took off.  He was driving too fast for conditions (snow storm) when his car rounded the corner too fast, slid, ran over a tree trunk, became airborne, flipped over and slowly came to rest–instead of sliding further into the freeway below and certain death.  Everyone in the car walked away, though three of us were injured and two of us still feel the affects of those injuries today.  We had no health insurance at the time so we refused to go to the hospital thinking it was just a matter of time before my dh and I felt better.  Unfortunately, our injuries were much more severe than we had first thought. My dh broke his back and I broke my hand which is now disfigured.  We found out that our treatment would be covered under the med pay provision of my dh’s uncle’s auto policy and we were able to get treatment without any out of pocket expense. You can read more about our car accident here, but suffice it to say, God’s perfect timing saved us from death and from the financial struggles from over $25,000 worth of treatment.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

Shortly after moving to Indiana in March, we discovered thunder and lightning.  During a June thunderstorm, the likes of which cause tornadoes that carried Dorothy and Toto to Oz, we heard a loud BOOM and smelled fire.  We found that lightning had struck our driveway, went underground and traveled through our electrical system destroying the weakest connections in our new home.  All totaled, we lost 17 electrical items in our house including both tvs, my computer, my dh’s electric lazy boy chair, several switches/connections, our garage door opener, the wall outlet that caught fire, the bathroom fan, three cable boxes, one cable modum, our home phone base unit, and my printer (which now didn’t work and play well with the new computer).  We did have coverage for the house, but not for our property inside the house.  We spent about $1500 to repair/replace all the electronic items in the house. The only reason we were able to afford to repair/replace all of those items was because for the first time in 27yrs of marriage, my dh’s job paid us more than we needed to live on and we because we actually had quite of bit of savings provided by that salary and a moving allowance given us by his company!  If this had happened at ANY other time during our marriage, we would not have been able to afford to replace ANY of these items.  God’s perfect timing allowed us to only have to worry about the details of replacing and repairing all our items and avoid the stress that comes with trying to figure out how to afford it.

In August, there was another thunderstorm which brought in its wake a flash flood that took the life of that beloved car we worked so hard to have repaired.  The puddle my dh thought he was driving into rose up over his hood and entered the cabin.  Under Indiana law, any vehicle with damage like this is an automatic total loss.  Looking at our options, we were afraid not to have the car totaled as we were not at all sure of the extent of the damage nor were we confident any longer in the reliability of the vehicle after being out of warranty and having had two large repair bills in recent memory.  We were also afraid of the payoff, which we felt would surely be at least a few thousand dollars below what we owed on it.  To our shock, we were told that the car was in such excellent condition that they valued it based on it being a dealer car.  They paid off nearly all of the loan and we were able to purchase a used sports car my dh loves and put the balance on that new loan.  The payment is higher than the other car’s was, but because of my dh’s promotion, we can now afford that payment.  God’s perfect timing allowed us to get out of that vehicle and into another one when it was financially comfortable for us to do so.

For the entire length of the 5.5 years we lived in ARIDzona, we chose not to have any health insurance.  My dh’s company offered an expensive plan that really didn’t cover much and we couldn’t afford to pay for it anyway so we just didn’t.  For all of those years, God found a way for us to afford what little medical attention we needed at that time.  We were even able to afford two naturopath drs who tried, but failed to help me with my growing chronic illnesses.  Then in April of this year we found that the company’s plan had changed making it much more affordable and, to our shock and amazement, it covered a LOT more than it did previously.  We were covered as of June and in August, I began having gallbladder trouble that necessitated its divorce from the rest of my body in September.  We have already begun receiving the bills, some for $300, some for $400 and some for $750.  We have yet to receive the hospital bill which we expect to be at least $20,000.  We will be responsible for $5000 and, while that still sounds like a great deal of money to use, we know we can break it down into payments that we can handle.  We also know that God’s perfect timing has saved us something in the order of $20,000 in hospital bills.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

If we keep our eyes open, we will see the blessings God has provided.  If we put on our blessing glasses (pictured above), we will be able to see God’s hand in our troubled times.

How many times has God’s incredible timing blessed you?  Please share your story here as a blog comment.

 

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One of the worst things to say to a believer who is hurting

Written By: JoJoisms - Sep• 22•14

I wrote this a while back for another publication.  It’s the first time I began to think about how society (even fellow believers) communicate with those who are suffering, especially with chronic issues.

 

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” -Proverbs 16:24

SadI’ve seen it so many times. A sister in the Lord opens up to share a struggle she is going through in the hopes that the fellowship will bring strength to a weary heart. Instead of support, sympathy or understanding, she receives condemnation by well-meaning and faith-filled believers. In place of words of peace and comfort, they rebuke the poor sinner for not having enough faith. They remind her of the mustard seed, how faith can move mountains and how big God is, but what does that do to her suffering? Does it relieve her suffering or does it, in fact, increase it and place the blame squarely on her?

This is actually one of the worst things you can communicate to a believer who is hurting. Why? Because what you’re saying is:

1. Your suffering is your fault

By telling a believer that she doesn’t have enough faith in God, you are telling her that she wouldn’t be suffering if she only had more faith. Since she either doesn’t believe she has little faith or doesn’t see how she can have more, she feels you are telling her that she is ONLY suffering because of her own lack of faith. Essentially, this belittles her suffering. After all, people don’t feel as sorry for those who cause their own suffering as we do for those who are suffering through no fault of their own.

2. You wouldn’t suffer if you only had more faith

After being told she has caused her own suffering through unbelief, the only option given her is more belief. This is sort of like telling someone “Be happy!” Have you ever been upset and been faced with a situation in which you had to go out and put on your happy face? It was difficult, wasn’t it? Magnify that tenfold and think how difficult it would be to put on your happy face after having lost a loved one to cancer or after being faced with financial ruin. Can they do it? I’m sure some could, but what does it require? It usually requires a time of mourning, a time of rebuilding after a period of support and strength that comes from fellowship. Telling someone to have faith after you just told them they didn’t have any, isn’t helpful and it can be a huge detriment to their ability to bounce back after a devastating event.

3. Your suffering is not going to stop until you have more faith

This poor hurting soul who was reaching out for comfort and strength is now frustrated because she is being told that, no matter how the struggle began, it is now her fault, the only cure is more belief and she cannot find an ounce more in her suffering so it’s never going to end. She is now convinced her suffering will go on indefinitely! Struggles are difficult enough when we believe they are somewhat temporary, but when we see no end in sight, struggles take on new depths of sorrow.

We can all build our faith. Even the most faith-filled Christian can become even stronger in the Lord, but this growing in faith usually comes after a period of mourning the loss at the root of the struggle and a period of gathering strength from family, friends and the Lord.

Telling someone their suffering comes from their unbelief is unbiblical. Here are just three examples from scripture:

1. If all suffering comes from not having enough faith, why was Paul suffering?

“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.” -2 Corinthians 12:7

2. If all suffering can be reversed by having more faith, why wasn’t Paul healed?

“For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.” -2 Corinthians 12:8

3. If Christians are not supposed to discuss their feelings when they are suffering, how can you explain Job?

“Even to day is my complaint bitter: my stroke is heavier than my groaning.” –Job 23:2

“And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.” –Job 42:10

Telling a person who is suffering, especially when the suffering is new, that they simply need more faith is not only unhelpful, but it can frustrate and depress the person even further. This is where more communication skill is needed. Be careful at this vulnerable time in this believer’s life that you are part of the solution and not part of the problem

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29

Please share your comments, thoughts and experiences here.  I’d love to hear from you.

 

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Nine Tips for Homeschooling with Chronic Illness

Written By: JoJoisms - Sep• 15•14

Motherreadingtochildren

September is the month most homeschoolers begin their new school year so I thought it was a good time to share some tips for homeschooling with chronic illness–especially since several of you asked me about this.  I’ve been living with chronic illness for many years and have been homeschooling for 14 so I’ve picked up a thing or two, or in this case, nine or ten.

What I’m going to share with you is a short list of things that have helped me, but I’d love for you all to post a comment with your tips and ideas or feedback.  I’d love to hear your story of homeschooling with chronic illness.

1. Use computer programs, CD roms instead of books

I discovered this because my son is getting older and has a love of the computer as well as a better focus when he learns via CD roms.  He’s has now passed me up in math and science.  It’s tough to teach your kid something you never learned. LOL  I started looking for these because I didn’t feel qualified to teach upper math and science so I found CD rom programs.  My favorites are from Teaching Textbooks (math) and Apologia (science).  I believe Abeka also has CD rom courses.  You can also find some online classes that might work for your child as well.

If this works for you and your child, it’s a great way to save you time and mental focus.  There are several online classes or CD roms that teach the course for you and all you need to do is follow up, grade and keep track of progress.

2. Have older kids help the younger ones

Kids love to feel helpful and older kids love to boss the younger siblings so this works out well all the way around.  My dd just loved to boss her little brother around.  In fact, she loved to boss lots of kids around. LOL  Have the older kids help the younger ones with the lessons.  You can either supervise or check up on their work and give tests.  It’s also a great way to get done with the school day a bit faster.  Mary can work with Jim while you work with Paul.

3. Be flexible: use mornings if they are better or evenings when dad is home

If you and your kids work better in the mornings, get up early and get school done. If you are more alert or have less pain in the afternoon, start later.  Possibly have dad get involved for certain subjects if things get a bit behind or you are having a health issue that doesn’t allow you to do much for a while.

4. School all year round

I don’t do this, but it works for others. If you school all year round, taking off two weeks for a really bad Fibro spell, isn’t as damaging to the school year.

5. Older kids have less face to face time.

Since older kids can do more work independently, you may only need to have short lessons where you explain the lesson and then correct their work.

6. Do less field trips

I LOVE field trips and so did my kids, but when you are feeling awful, it’s hard to get them there and/or walk around for hours at a museum.  If you can get someone you trust to drive them and be responsible for them, great.  If not, it’s time to cut back on the number of field trips you do…and DON’T feel guilty about it.

7. Find a designated driver

Do you have a friend who can drive your son to his guitar lesson for you or pick up your daughter for the Bible study?  Utilize the people in your life who want to help.  I always felt like I was intruding, but I found that there are many people who truly love to help.  Let them.

8. Make your life a big health class

Incorporate health lessons by having your kids learn about your condition.  Teach them about nutrition as you learn what keeps us healthy in general or you specifically.  Teach them as you learn and give them a head start on better health as you incorporate your time spent fighting your illness into a class for your children.  This is especially helpful to get the word out about chronic illness to the next generation.  So many don’t understand what we go through. The more you teach it, the more will know.  Maybe one day, your child will be the one who finds a cure!

9. Putting off school for a while

This is always my last resort, but it has come to pass this year.  I’ve always been able to soldier through and keep to our teaching schedule for all 14yrs I’ve homeschooled.  Unfortunately, last week I found out that on top of my other chronic illnesses, I also have gallbladder disease.  I am not able to eat much of anything without severe heartburn and digestive issues.  It’s hard to teach from the bathroom. lol  I will need surgery very soon and my son’s computer with all his homeschool programs and information on it just died.

We have ordered a power supply which should fix his computer, but it won’t be here until the end of this week (as I’m writing this) so we’ve lost almost an entire week anyway.  I see my surgeon on the same day and surgery will likely be scheduled for a week or so out.  Lastly, my dh’s car was declared a total loss by our insurance company because he ran into a flash flood puddle which quickly rose over his hood and damaged the engine.  So we dont’ have a car for me to drive him to co op classes even if I felt up to it.

So…we are postponing school for at least a week, if not two, in order to work those things out.  Sometimes, ya just gotta go with the flow.

One last tip I have for you is to pray.

God can give you a great idea for how to deal with homeschooling through your chronic illness that you or I would never have thought of.  Pray.  This probably should be number one and I would have put it there, but I guess I figured it was a given…til I got to the end and realized I hadn’t mentioned it. 😀

So that’s it for me.  Do you have any more tips for my readers? Please comment here.  Again, I’d love to hear your struggles with homeschooling with chronic illness so please leave a comment with your story as well.  God bless…

 

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When life happens in the middle of chronic issues

Written By: JoJoisms - Sep• 08•14

accidentDuring your journey with chronic illness, financial stress or other chronic issues, you are likely to have life happen.  When it rains it pours.  Know that God is still in control.  He will always bring you through. Pray, even if you can’t see a way out.  Pray, even if you don’t see an answer.  Pray.

2014 has been an eventful year to put it in the positive vernacular.  On the days when I’m not so positive, I call it one of the worst years my family has had in recent memory. Not that God hasn’t seen us through, moved us forward or been with us, but in the sheer amount of STUFF we had to deal with and the stress it put on my family, our finances, our nerves and my body.  Here’s how it went down.  You might see similarities to a year in your recent history.

In January, my dh, son and I were involved in a roll over car accident near Chicago after finding our new home in Indiana we’d be moving to from ARIDzona.  This one’s a tri state baddie as my dh broke his back and I broke my hand–both of which have left some permanent damage.

In March we moved cross country during a blizzard.  It took us about three hours to get to get to and 20 minutes to actually FIND our new home.   We had been staying with relatives in Chicago and drove out to meet the movers. We caught them just in time before they were required to leave with all our stuff.  Upon arriving to our development, we had some trouble determining which white stuff was over the roadway and which was over our neighbor’s lawns.  Fortunately, we spotted the mailbox tops which guided us in.

In June, a lightning strike zapped and fried 15 electrical items in our house which all had to be replaced. And, yes, we only had coverage for the structure of the house and not our belongings. I think it cost us $1500 to replace it all.

In August, my very old printer decided it didn’t want to work and play well with my new computer. My new printer is lovely and has all the latest bells and whistles. Then my dh drove his car into a flash flood he thought was a small puddle during another thunderstorm. Yes, the insurance company was required to deem it a total loss under Indiana law and, at the time of this writing we are a one car family looking for a second car.  In addition, my son turned on his computer to a lightning strike of its own making which fried the power supply.  We’ve put off homeschool for a week or so.  The power supply is on order and should arrive tomorrow.  My dh should be able to fix it by this weekend–or by the time you read this last weekend.  And finally, my gallbladder started a civil war with plans to secede from my body.  The other parts voted to evict him instead.  My upcoming surgery will be scheduled this week.

Life sometimes gets in the way.  It doesn’t seem to care that you already have chronic life to deal with.  And when it strikes, it makes life stressful and, well, let’s just say not fun.  I’m not going to say I didn’t get upset or angry or frustrated.  I did.  I do.  But I always come back to the fact that God is still in control.  He has gotten me out of difficult situations before and I trust that He will again. So, I pray.  I pray with hope and faith, even if I can’t see a way out.  Even when I see our bank account dwindling, being sucked dry by the cruel weather.  I see God’s beauty.  The exquisite snowcapped view from my office window.  The green grass I never had to water.  I count my blessings that we are all safe and snug in our new home, even if I don’t feel great most of the time.  I trust that He will lead me to the right surgeon, the right dr for my chronic illness and the right opportunities.  I thank Him by being faithful to my mission He sent me on to uplift others who are struggling with the same things I am…or worse.  May you all be blessed.

Please share your story, feedback, comments here.  I’d love to hear from you.

 

 

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18 Steps for Living Better with Chronic Illness

Written By: JoJoisms - Sep• 01•14

Visual JoJoism43The last several posts were all about letting you know that you are not alone and that someone cares. I pray they continue to help those with chronic illness so please feel free to pass them along to those who need some support and to feel understood. Also they are a great way to let friends and family understand how you feel. Here is a list of the best ones to share:

1. JoJo’s Journey: 35 Years with Chronic Illness
2. I Have a Confession to Make…My Battle with Depression
3. Discovery: Spiritual Deficiency
4. It’s Not Vanity; It’s Part of Chronic Illness

If medical science cannot make your chronic illness go away completely, you have to find ways to make living with it easier.  I’ve come up with a few things that help me.  Apply one, some or all of them as they suit you and your situation, but I’d love for all of you to share your ideas and what has helped you.  So, please leave a comment with your feedback so all my readers can benefit from our collective experience.

Attitude Ideas:

1. Be flexible

Chronic illness takes twists and turns. No matter how well you plan and/or how faithful you are to your meds/vitamins/diet, you will have times when you won’t be able to do X.  Be flexible enough, if your work allows, to be okay doing Y or Z or M.O.U.S.E.  If I don’t have the energy to bounce back after a difficult or stressful weekend, I may need to devote Monday to staying in and even taking a nap if need be.

2. Develop and count on a sense of humor

If you don’t laugh, well…you know the alternative. I make a joke of things. Makes me feel better. Makes others around me feel better too.  But for times when I can’t joke, I can usually count on some friends, family and my dh to say something funny to cheer me up.  Life can be hard, even if you don’t struggle with chronic issues.  Making your struggle into humor is just plain uplifting. I’m not saying to make light of what you are going through, but I am saying to make light of what you are going through.  Now before you ask me for the Jibberish Subtitles, let me explain.  I don’t ever say that what I’m going through is easy or fun, but I do point out the funny parts of it.  In that way, I’m making it lighter and lifting my spirits.

3. Be open to new things

Sometimes you need to be open to the possibility that something new might help you–even if you’ve tried it before. Sometimes circumstances aren’t right and, as you gain more strength or balance your diet or meds, that new idea might just work.

4. Don’t discount the silly ideas

Those new things can sometimes come in the form of the ridiculous. How can some oil that smells like lavender make me feel better?  Does it make sense that drinking something to give you more stomach acid will help?  Well, yes.  What may sound silly or ridiculous to you, might just help you through something.  Lavender essential oil and other oils has actually helped me sleep better.  And my heartburn isn’t a result of too much acid, but too little such that I am not digesting my food. This causes other issues resulting in my heartburn.

5. Don’t invest too much time or money in the ridiculous

On the other hand, some things that sound ridiculous actually are.  Don’t spend too much time or money on things that don’t work.  I only try things that show a preponderance of evidence that it works.  And I only spend money on things that are reasonable given my financial situation and that evidence.  Otherwise you’ll be a broke and busy chronically ill person.

The Practical Ideas:

6. Have your kids help

Kids can be a big help to you and, generally, they LOVE helping mom out. They feel special and a feeling of accomplishment to help.  Little kids can get you a glass of water or bring you the laundry basket, or set the table.  Older kids can help the younger kids, do some of the housework, chores or even make dinner.  Teenagers can run errands, if they drive.

7. Plan

Dinners were always my afternoon problem.  Planning out your menu for the week does help because you don’t need to think much about what to make, which I find takes the most amount of time.  Brain fog kicks in and has me running around the kitchen trying to remember what I’m making, much less find all the ingredients. Keep things with you in your purse that you might need when you are out.  If you are on a special diet, keep some approved snacks in your purse in case you find yourself in the middle of nowhere and you need to eat.  A little planning goes a long way.

8. The crock pot is your friend

The crock pot is my dearest friend.  I love being able to throw things in there in the morning and have dinner ready by the time the family needs to eat. Cuts down on that frantic time from 3-4pm when I used to run around the house trying to find the one ingredient I needed and then looking online for a suitable substitute I happened to have in my pantry.

9. Shower at night

Mornings are usually pretty rushed and I am exhausted when I get up.  Taking a shower at night means I don’t need to do my hair or makeup afterward.  Cuts down on the time.  In the morning I can style and put my makeup on without having to worry about taking a shower. This works for me, though it might not work for everyone.

10. Styler

I bought myself an electric styling brush that has been a life saver.  It straightens and even curls my hair when dry.  So when I wake up, I can simply run the brush through my hair and I’m done in 10-15 minutes as opposed to taking 45-60 minutes blow drying, curling and spraying my hair.

11. Break up house work

I used to clean my entire house in one day.  I can no longer perform that little feat of physical activity so I break up my housework into short spurts each day Monday through Friday.  I wash clothes on Mondays, dust and clean the bathrooms on Tuesdays, vacuum and do the floors on Wednesdays, clean the kitchen and microwave on Thursdays and do more laundry (sheets and towels) on Fridays.

12. Spread out outings

Have a few days when you don’t go anywhere to recoup and regroup.  Don’t try to go too many places in one day.  Even if you aren’t the one driving, it can zap your energy to do the shopping, look for a car, meet up with a friend for dinner and pick up your prescription on the way home.  Ask me how I know.

13. Buy extra at the store if you can and go shopping less often

If you can, buy two or three dishwashing detergents, jars of spaghetti sauce or hair spray when you go shopping.  I’ve had too many times were I ran out of something and had to do an emergency run to the grocery store.  Not only is that an extra outing, but it’s done with the stress of having to run out and run back.  Double whammy energy zapper.

14. Shop Walmart–less trips

I love to shop at Walmart.  I can go to just one place and get groceries, car tires, a birthday gift for Aunt Millie and take out for dinner all in one stop!

15. Make lists so you don’t forget

Part of chronic illness for so many is brain fog.  I can’t tell you how many times I forgot to take my meds, eat lunch, do laundry… I make a list each day of what needs to be done and include things some might think to be ridiculous like taking my vitamins, eating lunch or taking a shower.  😀

16. Reminders on computer or iphone

I used to use paper lists, but brain fogged minds often lose the list.  So I began using my Outlook Calendar.  When my computer was zapped by lightning, I transitioned to my phone, which was better for me because it has a loud tone that was near me when it went off.  I can’t tell you how many times I came upstairs at 4pm to find my computer had reminded me to eat lunch.

17. Schedule naps or take them when you need them

Sounds like a no brainer, but chronic illness usually means we get sleepy or tired–especially at about 3pm.  I used to schedule a nap around that time because I knew I would be good for nothing unless I did.  Sometimes I have to be flexible and nap at 9am if I wasn’t able to sleep much the night before. Now this works out great if you don’t work or work from home.  Those of you who work outside the home, will not find this helpful unless your boss is okay with your head down on your desk at 3pm every day.

18. Invite others over so  you don’t have to go anywhere if that is easier for you. It is for me.

I invite people to come over to my house to visit as often as I can instead of having to drive out to them. It’s more taxing for me to have to plan and execute a car trip out than it is to have someone over for lunch.  You may find it different for you, but this works for me.

So…what things help you live better with chronic illness?  Please share your tips as a comment below.

 

 

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It’s not vainity; it’s part of chronic illness

Written By: JoJoisms - Aug• 25•14
So, apparently, I’m an OLD, middle-aged person. I had my dr appointment the other day. First thing he said was that, based on my skin, I haven’t been taking my hormone replacement therapy. I reminded him that he didn’t prescribe it yet because he wanted me to have some tests. That explains it, he said.  I’m not even 52 yet and my skin is saggy, baggy, thin and wrinkly. I have osteoporosis, my hair is almost entirely grey, and I have the teeth of a 70 y/o. But my dr says he can fix all that (well except for the teeth). I guess my kids are right…I’m ANCIENT. But hopefully not for long! Then they’ll have to find a new term for me…like…NOT Ancient! Yeah…that new term might need a little work.

I posted about this on Facebook and someone asked me why I was so fixated on my looks when God loves us as we are.  I’ve had people tell me that, if I were a good Christian, I wouldn’t be concerned about my looks because that’s vain.

If you are fixated on your looks to the exclusion of all else or so focused you are depressed about all the good things in your life, that is a problem.  But if you are fixated on your looks because, in the last 12 months, you have aged ten years, that’s a different problem. One you need to address.  If the way you look adds to your depression, that’s is a different problem still and that needs to be addressed.  Not in a vain way, but in a main way. Taking care of yourself so that you feel better…at your best…the best you can be despite chronic illness so you can serve the Lord.

This was me about two years ago and this is me about a year later.  Notice that the second picture shows my skin is pale, red and blotchy, saggy around the mouth and my turkey waggle is much more pronounced.  The last picture was quite a while ago now too.  My recent video sharing my 35 year journey with chronic illness shows how I’ve aged even more since.

JoJo YouTube     New Glasses1

If you don’t suffer from chronic illness, you don’t know what this feels like to age ten years in 12 months.  If you don’t have chronic illness, you have no idea what it’s like to be middle-aged and feel like you are 80.  If you don’t deal with chronic illness, you have no way of knowing what it does to your mood to walk by a mirror and see your grandmother, when you’re only 45!

It’s not vanity; it’s part of chronic illness like Hashimoto’s Disease, adrenal fatigue, Chrone’s Fibro, etc.  But even if it were a fixation on how we look, isn’t everyone trying to look their best?  Doesn’t everyone do things to make their appearance better  and more youthful before going out in public?  How many women do you know who wear makeup?  Put on their Sunday Best clothes before going to dinner?  How many dye their hair when it gets gray?  How many die their hair just because they think they’d look better blonde?  Why does it make me a bad Christian because it upsets me that my chronic illness has made me look old before my time?  After all, if you’re 80 and look old, that’s natural.  If you’re 51 and look 80, that’s a bit depressing, isn’t it?

So if you don’t suffer from chronic illness, please don’t judge what you don’t understand.  Please don’t tell her she’s making a big thing out of nothing.  Don’t tell her she’s too fixated on her looks.   Don’t tell her she’s vain because she’s mourning the loss of her youth.  There is a great deal more she’s morning than just her youthful appearance.  She’s struggling to accept the fact that her body no longer does what she should be able to do.  She’s coming to terms with feeling old and missing out on things you take for granted.  Think about how just plain shocked you would be at 48 to walk by a mirror and see an old lady staring back at you…wearing your clothes.

What say you?  Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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The next time I’m born, I’m going to choose to be male

Written By: JoJoisms - Aug• 23•14

Warning! Female Rant Ahead!  We interrupt our normal weekly blog schedule to bring you this female rant.

After that painful breaking in period when you’re 12 (or 16+ in my case) when you long for something to happen every month, you begin to wonder why you ever wanted it in the first place.

It tickles me what they call that monthly event, too.  A visit from your friend.   If you have a friend who comes over five days out of every month and makes you feel pain, discomfort and ill, don’t open the door!  That’s not a friend; that’s an enemy!

Aside from that Baby Delivery Training five days every month, as we get older, we have to deal with peri menopause–and earlier and earlier these days!  This is the time of your life after you finally have a handle on your monthly friend.  You’ve finally figured out a system.  You carry with you *special equipment* in your purse after calculating just when you might be entertaining your FRIEND–just in case.  And when you just about have everything figured out…BOOM…everything changes.

Your friend decides to visit more often than once a month.  Isn’t it sweet?  She misses you.  Sometimes she visits three times a month! Or she just plum MOVES IN WITH YOU!  Occassionally, she goes on vacation for a few months, but always comes back for an extended stay because–you’re just that lucky!  Now you carry your *special equipment* around with you 24/7 and all year round.  HINT (for you younger gals): buy a bigger purse!

When you are female, and especially when you complain of FEMALE ISSUES, drs ignore you or dismiss you–even if they, themselves, are of the female persuasion.  My female dr investigated every small complaint my dh had with ferver, even when he admitted it was probably just him being a bit of a hypochondriac.  When I was 37 (after I had my son), I complained of hot flashes and other peri menopause issues. I was told it was ridiculous because I was too young.  Even after she admitted experiences are often hereditary and I told her my grandmother was done (FINITO!) at 47 AND admitting it’s usually a ten year process, she said it was ludicrous and refused to test my hormones.  By the way, Dr Female, it’s been 15yrs of suffering with peri menopause so you were wrong about that too!

I’ve been having some digestive issues of late.  I told my dr about them and he said they were probably due to peri menopause.  Really?!  Then this morning I read an article called 9 Signs of Hormonal Imbalance and How to Fix Them.  Guess what was number nine?  Yup!  Digestive Issues!  My dr prescribed a bioidentical hormone cream that I pick up on Monday.  Looking forward to having all nine of those issues go away.  Looking forward also to having my monthly friend go away soon too.  I’ll be 52 next month and what I’d like for my birthday is to give my monthly friend her walking papers.  LOL

All joking aside, it’s been a very long peri menopausal journey for me.  And though I am thankful to God for allowing me two incredible children, I’m not enjoying being a girl right now.

Rant Over: I now return you to your regularly scheduled hormones…

Please feel free to post a rant of your own. Your hormones will probably feel better. 😀

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Discovery: Spiritual Deficiency

Written By: JoJoisms - Aug• 18•14

singing birdAs I was writing my blog post for this week sharing some tips for living with chronic illness, I came to this topic.  After last week’s post where I confessed my struggle with depression, I felt this topic needed to be a post of its own. Here’s why.  We can plan all we like, we can buy things to help us save time and energy, we can have wonderful friends and family who help, but if we don’t have a way to get our attitude up when we are down, we don’t have anything at all.

So, after realizing that I was unwittingly participating in Hormonal Crying Waves and Deficiency Directed Depression, I discovered a spiritual deficiency I didn’t even realize I had.  Not that I wasn’t reading my Bible, going to church and fellowshipping with some pretty amazing women of God, but I discovered something I enjoyed, something that energized me and something I didn’t even know I was missing.

It just so happened that I had scheduled a time for a dear friend to come over for lunch.  She called to say she’d be a bit late because she had to switch cars with her sweet hubby and I found myself sitting in front of the computer singing along to my YouTube list of Praise and Worship songs.  After a bad night of insomnia, I was afraid I’d be too tired to make conversation and enjoy her delightful company, but I discovered that singing praises to God energized me.  As I sang, I realized that I hadn’t done this for quite a long time.  My computer was zapped by lightning a while back and it took us a while to determine that repairing it wasn’t an option.  After replacing it, we still hadn’t gotten around to downloading the hard drive with all my info on it so I had been slowly setting things up.

You have to understand that this HTML Illiterate and Techie Challenged Soul also has Brain Fog so, not only do I not remember my passwords, but I don’t always write them down on my cheat sheet when I change them.  So…it was slow going as I programmed in each of my websites until I got to my YouTube channel.

I love to sing!  I often sing along to songs on the radio, but since I moved to Indiana, I hadn’t found a good Christian station so we were listening to secular music.  Not that this is necessarily a bad thing.  It wasn’t anything that went against our beliefs; it just wasn’t what energized me.  It wasn’t something that made me realize how much I had to be thankful for…to God.  Or how much God loved me.

It was in that few minutes before my friend got to my house that I realized how much I had missed singing and praising God and how much that had given to my spirit.  I didn’t realize how much I need to praise Him or how it affected my mood.  I read the Bible every morning, subscribe to online devotionals, watch funny shows and movies and try to get together with dear friends.  All of that does seem to lift me up, but nothing as much as singing praises to the Lord!  That just fills me up.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying singing to God (or any of the other things I listed) will cure depression (and clinical depression is a whole different issue altogether) or that it is the answer to lift everyone’s spirits, I’m just saying it did for me.  In a BIG way!

What I am saying is that we all need to take time for ourselves to do something that releases, rejuvenates and refreshes us.  I think this is especially important for those of us struggling with chronic issues–whether it be illness or otherwise. When we are sad or struggling with depression, we often don’t think to do the things that used to uplift us. Or maybe sometimes we don’t want to.  Sometimes doing them makes you more sad.  But sometimes, if you remember to do the things that used to uplift you, you may find they still do.

The next time I’m feeling down, I’m going to look at how long it’s been since I sang along to my favorite praise and worship music. I’ll probably find I haven’t done it in a while. Here is just one of my favorite songs.  Not much of a visual, but I love the song: The Rose of Bethlehem by Selah.

What is it for you?  Here are some other things that lift my spirits.  Maybe they will help you find yours.

* Visit with friends

* Watching funny movies or using humor when you communicate with others, joking around, being silly

* Being creative: art, drawing, writing, journaling

* Reading: the Bible, a good story, uplifting biography

All of these things help me lift my spirits and change my mood, but nothing as much as singing to the Lord.  Please share your tips for picking us up when we are down.  Let’s all learn from one another so we can uplift ourselves and share that with others who are struggling.

 

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I have a confession to make…

Written By: JoJoisms - Aug• 11•14

SadI’m going to admit something I’ve been trying to hide.  I’ve been struggling lately.  Actually, I’ve struggled with this for quite some time on and off.  I’m a bit frustrated and overwhelmed, but mostly I’ve been feeling like nobody cares. It’s silly, really.  An innocent joke made by a family member here.  A small perceived slight by a friend who probably never intended (or even knew) she upset me in any way.  As an example…I’ll post something on Facebook and hours later (probably due to Facebook’s algorithms or it being a slow Facebook news day) nobody responds.  Feeling neglected, I delete the post, both so it doesn’t look so pathetic and because it depresses me to see my posts go unnoticed.  And so it went this past week or so.

In addition, I cry at toilet paper commercials and sometimes take two showers a day because it’s easier to hide tears under running water.  Feeling like this more often than I care to admit, I still denied my depression or sadness to my friends and family and, even, my doctor.  Somehow it was a shameful thing, especially for a Christian.  As a defense mechanism, I resort to humor. Laughing at the struggles is much better than the alternative.  So I thought I was okay.  After all, the uncontrollable crying was only a few times every week or so.

Thinking back to my last dr visit when he went over the extensive test results, I realized that so many of the chemicals or vitamins I was deficient in are linked to depression.   So many of the things my body was low in are responsible for making you happy.  So I guess that means that, in addition to FEELING sad, I have an unhappy body. Unlike those people on the Activia commercials, my tummy isn’t smiling.  🙁

Just looking at some of the deficiencies my doctor identified, I can see a pattern and it opened my eyes enough to admit I’ve been struggling with depression.

I have a severe vitamin D deficiency which, along with causing fatigue, pain and sleep issues, also causes depression.  What a sad state of affairs!

I was low in B12, which as well as causing fatigue, lack of energy and weakness, also causes depression.

Low thyroid symptoms include feeling tired, weak and depressed.

Low serotonin levels affect your mood, sleep and cause depression.  I was surprised to read that it leads to crying spells and bouts of sadness.  Well, there’s a shocker, right!

Low gaba levels cause anxiety, worry, fear, PMS, emotional issues, fatigue and BRAIN FOG.  I guess I just couldn’t remember how many times I felt like crying.

PEA (Phenlethylamine) gives you energy and influences mood. Low levels of PEA cause depression and low mental energy.

Low testosterone levels in women cause mild depression, fatigue and decreased energy as well as weight gain and a decline in muscle tone (making you jiggle and wave back to yourself) which is pretty depressing right there!

Low progesterone levels cause anxiety, depression and mood swings.

Low DHEA levels cause a decrease in muscle mass which, heretofore stated, makes for an unhappy, Flabby JoJo.  That’s in addition to the regular kind of depression and overwhelming fatigue.

I guess I feel a bit better knowing that my erratic swings into sudden sadness that takes me to the Twilight Zone of moods isn’t entirely in my head.  Most of it’s in my body. Or, more to the point, ISN’T in my body! It’s difficult enough to stay positive when you are frustrated by feeling tired and overwhelmed without your body’s missing link to the happy, happy, happy Phil Robertson talks about.

I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not alone and that, while things may L@@K like nobody cares, that’s just my hormones and lack of chemicals and vitamins talking. After all, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” says Proverbs 17:22.  I’m taking all my prescriptions and trying to look at the positives in my life.

Have you ever felt this way?  What are your experiences?  Care to confess?  I promise not to judge.

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How did spammers get the idea JoJo was a techie?

Written By: JoJoisms - Aug• 08•14

So many people said they wanted to be able to leave a comment on some of the older blog posts that I decided to open the comments back up on the blog.  They used to close automatically after five days because that’s how long it takes for the spammers to come out and play. A day after opening them back up, I discovered the usual incomprehensible and self serving spam:

“This really is nice produce, My goal is to shaire the idea for my very own frinds.” (Huh?!)

www. BuyMyStuff .com (Seems legit.)

You Too Can Pay Me Big Bucks For Marketing… (Where do I sign?)

“Your website is missing out on 300 visitors a day!…” (You don’t say?!)

Click Here For Google .Com! (because nobody would know where to find Google!)

But then the strangest comments began to arrive in my spammer’s inbox:

Do you know what images are legal to post on my blog? (Uh…why ask me?)

I’m having computer problems. What should I do? (I’d suggest the Geek Squad.)

I’d like to copyright my blog content and pictures. How do I do that? (Call a lawyer?)

What makes you think that the author of a blog on chronic illness would know anything at all about techie issues like image usage and computer network issues?  The fact that I’m Technologically Challenged and HTML Illiterate aside, what possesses you to comment asking about these things in reply to a post about my 35 year journey with chronic illness?  To adapt an old saying, if you don’t have anything relevant to post, don’t post anything at all.

Then, I realized that just about nobody leaves a comment on the blog anymore anyway.  🙁

Feel free to make me feel better by leaving a comment…about your Great Aunt Sally’s ant farm in South Dakota.

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